Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
