I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
