WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
