I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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