This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
