the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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