WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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