She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
