I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
