his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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