Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
