Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
