My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my being single is dangerous.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
