i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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