it's too hot outside to masturbate.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
we're so committed to being not committed
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
