Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
