I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize