He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
