lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
