You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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