My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
God I need to hump something, right now.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize