Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
