real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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