Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
