is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
