You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
