Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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