Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
