Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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