if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Thereโs a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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