life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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