super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
