We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My dick has a subreddit
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
