dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
