HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Someone shit on the floor
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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