i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
