problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
