brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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