so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
How's work?
Spinning.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
