My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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