One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
