so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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