don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize