i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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