watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize