What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
