We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
