it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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