is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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