he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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