I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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