Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
