Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
