you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
