After last night, I could never be a politician.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
