His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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