tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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