omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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