I'm drive I can fine osifer
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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