Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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