Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
