sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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