1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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