Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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