Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
