what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Houston, we have a squirter
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
