vagina is talking i cant
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
