I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
