I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
