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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble

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• (607): View more from New York

  can we get nightvision for the apartment?

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• (210): View more from Texas

  spencer pratt says his family invinted chess

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?

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• (+81): View more from

  I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You're never coming back, are you?

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• (559): View more from California

  Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.

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• (209): View more from California

  So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?

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• (714): View more from California

  Not my type, but the penis looks fun.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice

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• (631): View more from New York

  Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?

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