Dual....:-)
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
