no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
