At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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