i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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