Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
