Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
