ugly people sure do ruin things
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
