We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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