you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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