Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
